nothing going my wayy... sigh

sigh..wel the past two days have been reali reali fukddd upp! :( sigh*
nothing seems to be going my way at all..><" wel it not like it ever is..but heyy.. sigh* these few dayzx been ...omgosh soo crap! i been in mai depressing mood agen =/ *tears* i got rejected ... alot these dayz..>_< i askd "him" to go out and hav lunch wit me on thursday... but he onli sed "lol" sigh >_< wut kinda fukn answer is that >_< *siiighs* if he dun want cant he juz say no? bleh..>< whuy is he doin this to me..alwaise leaving me hanging ther... not knowing wut to do and juz feeling like shiet..=/ sighh... i hate my life..

these few dayz man..i juz wished i had never woken up! i wish that i had slept forever in my dreams..coz ...omgosh it is soo mush sweeter in my dreamz..>_< i dun hav to wake up to all the shiet in the world... i dun hav to face the pain in my life.. >_< it the easi way out lah..o.O~~ but then agen..im not that stoopid or even daring enof to kill myself... =/ so dun worry .. if i die it be of natural cause!! LOLZ.. maybe stress? haha heart ache? pain? broken heart? ... yarhh

i duno wut to do anytmore.. i duno how i feel anymore? =/ sigh.. it not all bcoz of him.. >_< lolz that would juz be reali stoopid of me..coz it been... 2 months ..tmr..=/ sigh* craP! i am lame! >.<" sigh~~ hrmm but yer.. alot is still to do wit him.. i miss him ..alot.. !! it is kinda like an n and off kinda feeling..>_< coz sumtimes i feel like i can move on and forget abt u.. but then.. at other times..i juz feel soo lost and empty witout u..!! and espsh it my bday coming up..>_< manyy pPl kno wut mai bday wish this year is..=/ sigh* if onli my wish came truuu!! but then... SIFF* it will =/ nothing comes tru for me... siigh..if onlee...

yer the other day was reali reali fukd~~ i seriously meann.. NOTHING was going my wayyy!!! and nothing still is.. on tuesday.. i broke 2 pens!! and i got rejected..more than once..and by more than one person..=/ sigh* ppl were getin on my nerves.. and i juz lost it soo mnay times..!! hrmm i tink i teared like fukn 5 times that dayy >_< o yer .. my explorer decided to fuk up on me.. and so now i dun hav a browser...=/ which is reali reali scrwedddd.... sigh* and hrmm yer...><
yeserday.. wednesday* hrmm... rejected agen... i duno.. i was juz feeling reali... lifeless and empty..=/ i couldnt concentrate at school and yer ..juz blankedd [o.O]
and now todayy..i lost lke half of my presentation for my class talk which juz happend..=/ FUKn hELl .. arghh... sObz* i hate this soo much!!

and.. saturday is my bday..and my party..and im seriously in no mooood watso everrr to celebrate!! >_< if onli i still had him... to spend my bday time wit ... sigh*
arghhhhhhh i juz feel like screaming.. slaming my rooom door shut.. listening to music.. lyin in bed and cryy... i duno how much i can take .... fuk im nearli tearing and im in the middle of class!! >__<" *holds back tears*
sigh~~ i dunooo wut to do.. i duno wut i am thinkn nemore...
the pain inside of me is killing me and eating me up slowly..burning awayy.. i duno wut to do....
i dun want anyone to worry abt me..but i tink im becoming transparent.. =/ sigh* bleh* fuK fuK fuK fuKk fUKkkk.. ='(

newasie.. HAPpY 19th birtHDay woNG goR!! *for yesterday* i wish that ur life goes much sweeter than mine.. !!